Glue

How do you rebuild your life after it all falls apart? Where do you even begin to pick up the pieces? Don't get me wrong, life is good. I have a new job, my family and my friends. They are all wonderful. Something is not right though. I feel that emptiness. Drinking and going out take that feeling away. But the next day I am alone. This weekend I saw him. We talked. He held me. I felt safe. I wanted to stay.
There is still so much anger inside me. I make the situation bad because I can not let that go. No matter what, he will always be my friend, always. He never let me go, even when I walked away. My actions still hurt him, but he stays. And he waits, he calls.
I tell him about guys I meet, he tells me they are no good for me. I get mad because I think he just says it because he doesn't want me seeing anyone. But then, they go away. He is still there. How long will he be here for me? He says forever. Forever is a long time. Forever is a long time.

Just in case you didn't know, I'm in charge and I make the rules!

So for those of you that have been living in a cave and didn't know, I have been living the single life for the past couple of months. Now, seeing how I am getting reacquainted with this life style there are things that I forgot happen in this game of singlehood. Example: girl meets guy, there is a mutual feeling of enjoyment when they are together and things are good. Guy decides maybe it's better if they just stay friends. Cool, no problem short duration of time, so no feelings hurt. Girl goes out meets other guy, guy one that just wanted to be friends sees girl out with guy two and feels hurt. Tells girl that he doesn't really want to be her friend anymore. (based on actual events). Problem: If you liked the girl and wanted to stay with the girl than you should have stayed with the girl.
Being single may be a game, but I don't play games, and even if I did, I would make the rules. When it comes to my feelings: I'M IN CHARGE AND I MAKE THE RULES! If you don't like the rules than kindly dismiss yourself from this game.
I just thought I would make that known.

For my girls

It's been a crazy week for my best friend Alba, and I've tried to be there for her. She has always been there for me. Actually my girls have always been there for me. I feel so lucky to have such a great group of girlfriends. The single life has allowed me to spend a lot of time with them. I don't know why when I was in a relationship, I allowed it to come before my friends. Especially knowing that if anything went wrong I would turn to them for help. I think Alba said it best when she once told a prospective boyfriend of mine "I was here before you and I will be here after you". So it was a little aggressive of her but it was true.

My girls are there for me when I need to cry. They never pass judgement. They'll tell me straight up if I did something stupid, it's not judgement it's just the facts. We go out, have a good time and sometimes we encourage each other to try something a little daring. : )
No matter how much time goes by or the distance between us Alba, Missy, Steph and Julie will always be my girls. I miss you Julie! I love you ladies!!!


Me, Steph and Julie


Me and Julie


Me, Alba and Missy


Me and Steph

Mimosa anyone

Wow....I had an awesome time this weekend. I hope everyone else did too. Saturday was Mexican Independence day and my roomie (she's not my roomie anymore but I will always call her roomie) and I lived it up at the Stock Exchange in Montebello. Man we had an awesome time. I realized how much I miss hanging out with her, and having weekends off. We always have a good time together. We don't even have to drink to have the laughs going. : ) we are crazy enough without it. She is so fun to hang out with and together we are nothing but trouble!!! : )
Hehe....it was awesome, when we got up this morning (we had a sleep over) we decided to go out to breakfast. So we go out to the car and she's loading all her things up in the trunk, throwing out empty bottles of alcohol (we bought drinks before going to the club and drank in the parking lot!!! so what if we are ghetto!!) and she closes the trunk. After closing the trunk she gave me this look and I immediately knew that she left the keys in the trunk. Well, we hadn't opened the rest of the car so it wasn't as if we could just open it up and get them back. So we called triple A and they came out and opened the car. Well as she's looking in the trunk she can't find them and because we opened the car without the key the alarm was going off. I thought to myself, "what if she accidently threw them out in the dumpster when we were cleaning out the trunk?". I looked in the dumpster and sure enough there were her keys!!! We just started rolling!!!
After the key adventure we went out to brunch and decided since we have nothing to do we should start our day off drinking. :) we ordered some mimosa's and the next thing you know four and a half hours, a bottle of champagne and four margaritas have gone by and we are tipsy off our asses. Mind you it was probably only 5 in the afternoon! Nothing but good times with this girl!!!
We came back to my house after our super long brunch and just relaxed. Man it was a crazy weekend. I love having weekends off. Hopefully there will be more fun times in the future.

one week down, a lifetime to go

Today was the end of my first week at my new job. I love going to work! It is so awesome. I leave work excited for the next day. I look forward to working with my kids and seeing them achieve new things. I come home exhausted, with sore legs from crawling around on the ground and picking up and tickling the kids; it's a good exhaustion. I find myself at home thinking about the kids and what we can work on the next day; a new game, a new song. The days can be hard. The child could be having a difficult day but, you work through it. Overall everyday has been awesome.

Aside from work this week, my baby sister packed up her things and prepared to move to San Diego to start her first semester at UCSD. I am so proud of her. Tonight, after celebrating my older sister's birthday, we said our goodbye's. Tomorrow morning my brother and my mom are driving her to school. I'm nervous for her, but she's a Hernandez and I know she will be fine. It makes me feel old knowing my baby sis is in college. Wow....I remember coming home from the first grade and seeing her for the very first time sleeping on the bed.

I'm really happy and I'm really tired so I am off to bed. Good night folks.

I love HIM!!!...and Him too.

I can't say I know how it feels to a carry a child in my womb. I don't know what it feels like to have a life growing inside me. What I do know is that although these two beautiful boys are not my own children I love them as if they were. Jesse is my first nephew and I have the privilege of being his godmother. I know everyone says this about their kids, but he is sooooo smart! Sometimes he drives me bananas, but man I love this kid!

My second nephew Matthew is such a cutie. I experienced many sad days through out this past summer but spending a few minutes with this kid made me smile so much. He has such a lively spirit and an amazing smile.

He's got the cutest baby chubbs too!!!
These two boys make me sooo happy. I love playing with them, I love the fact that they wake me up when I want to sleep and I love seeing them learn new things. It is amazing to see them develop from little bity babies to walking, talking little people!

Just thought I would share that with you.

Day one

First, I want to say sorry Melissa!!! I left early yesterday because I had to finish reading for work today. On that note, today was my first day at my new job! I love it! It was an intense day and I learned so much. My brain kinda hurts, but man I am super excited about it. The first couple weeks are primarily training so that I can work with children on my own, so today was part lecture and part hands on. It is a little overwhelming, but I am glad to be starting a new chapter in my liife. I am really tired so that is going to have to be it for now. I'll keep you guys updated, goodnight.

My last weekend at "The Empire"

I can't remember who suggested to Justine to use that name instead of the actual name of the company we work for, but yeah....anyway today? ok maybe yesterday was my last weekend at "the empire". I'm super excited that this coming weekend I won't have to worry about getting a headache from hearing myself say the same shit 50,000 times.....to the same person. At the same time I am really sad, don't get me wrong working on the weekend sucked/s but, I always had something to look forward to. I love all my coworkers...okay I like all of them and LOVE some of them, and weekends were the only time when I could expect to see them all. I can honestly say that I love/d my job not because of what I do there, but because of the people I work with. They have all made my time working there memorable. It was a crazy last weekend. I won't forget it.