no title for now

It hurts to breathe. Thoughts and memories race through my mind, like a reel of microfilm being frantically scanned through for answers. Answers for questions, never ending questions. A storm cloud of sadness grows inside me, fueled by my uncertainty, by my loneliness, by my self hatred. It grows beyond me, indiscriminately drenching those around me in a downpour of sadness. I need to stand alone in it's rain, weather the storm in solitude.

3 hours later

I've been on the phone for 3 hours......did I mention that this doesn't get easier. I think it may have gotten harder.

Insomnia

Right when you think things are looking up, something happens that makes you come back to reality. Reality reminds you that it is not that easy. Let me tell you it's not easy at all. You know, I don't really sleep well at night....I haven't since March 30th. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I just want to make the best decision......The best decision is the one that allows me to be happy, and more importantly doesnt hurt anyone. Unfortunately,that does not exist.