what

Sometimes so much time goes by, you don't even know where to begin. My last post I was at a complete melting point. Too many things had come at me all at once. I know I didn't deal with them well, but I think after things calmed down, I came out feeling a little bit more in control. I am at the point in my life where I am making an effort to surround myself by positive things. Not the madness of the people who don't care about me and who bring negativity along with them. I am taking things day by day. Looking at all the situations that come my way with more care. Well....at least I am trying.

The surface

If you were to ask me how I was doing I would tell you that I am ok, that I am good. On the surface I look ok, I sound ok. Inside me, I feel like I am constantly battling the chaos of my thoughts. Thoughts of confusion, of anger, of love, of hatred. This is a plea to my friends. Call me, ask me how I'm doing and when I say "I'm ok, I'm good", ask me again because that is only the surface.

Since then....

A year has passed since we last fell asleep in each others arms.....in our bed, in our room, in our home. A year has passed since I walked out of our home for the last time. If you were to collect all the tears I have shed since then, it would be enough to make a raging river, whose waters would reach to the most distant ends of the earth. There has been so much pain and so much loss since then.
But it has been a year, and hearts and lives move on. You will forever be my greatest love. You will always be my best friend. I will never forget the happiness that we shared. I have hope for greater things in the future.
I have hope.